Chapter 16 - Margaret Asks To See Them
Margaret requested therapeutic family visitation when Lily was eight and Sophie six.
Two years after assault.
My first reaction:
No.
Then therapist:
“Do girls want?”
Lily:
“Maybe.”
Sophie:
“Yes.”
Then safety.
Supervised.
No private.
No discussion of case beyond child led.
I agreed.
Not forgiveness.
Choice.
First meeting at family center.
Margaret looked older.
Gray.
She brought no gifts because therapist advised.
Sophie ran hug.
Lily did not.
Margaret asked:
“Can I hug?”
Lily shook.
“No.”
Margaret’s face hurt.
Then:
“Okay.”
That word mattered.
They colored.
Sophie asked:
“Why did you say Mommy falls?”
Margaret put crayon down.
“Because I was protecting Daddy when I should have told truth.”
Then:
“Did Mommy make him mad?”
“Yes, sometimes.”
Therapist looked.
Margaret corrected:
“People get mad. That does not make hitting okay.”
Good.
Then Lily:
“Why did you say babies Mom fault?”
Margaret cried.
“I wanted you angry at her because I was angry.”
“Why?”
“Because she was telling police truth about Daddy.”
Then:
“That was wrong.”
Lily:
“Were babies boys?”
Margaret glanced therapist.
“Doctors only knew at least one may have been.”
Then:
“Would Daddy be nicer if boy?”
Margaret whispered:
“He should have been kind regardless.”
No myth.
Then after visit Lily said:
“Grandma is weird.”
Yes.
“Do you want again?”
“Maybe.”
They continued monthly then less.
Margaret never regained unsupervised for years until evaluator later found safe? Could eventually.
She did therapy.
She stopped defending Richard publicly.
She got job volunteering? No need.
Then Richard in prison.
Programs.
He wrote letters.
I did not read all.
The girls’ therapist reviewed theirs.
At three years, Lily wrote back:
I’m good at science.
No love.
Richard replied:
I’m proud.
Then:
I know I said things that made you think girls mattered less. I was wrong.
No request.
Then Sophie drew family with Dad behind bars? She later changed.
Children process.
Then my own therapy.
I had nightmares.
One recurring.
Backyard.
But no Richard.
I could not stand.
My legs stuck.
Therapist said trauma.
We did not need name methods.
One day I returned to neighborhood with Amy.
Not house.
Rosa had moved.
I stood across street.
No need enter.
A new family had swing set.
Different.
I left.
Then my miscarriage grief.
I had never named twins.
The clinic had called them Baby A and B.
I did not know sexes fully.
I wanted names.
Therapist said optional.
I named them Rowan and James? If one could be girl, neutral. Rowan and Avery. But then Y chromosome at least one male; names can be neutral. Let's choose Rowan and Ellis. I wrote on paper.
Not legal.
No memorial spectacle.
Then daughters asked later.
“What names?”
I told.
They drew stars.
No blame.
Then a difficult question:
“Would you have kept us if twins?”
“Of course.”
“Would Daddy come back?”
“No.”
Then:
“Would you have told him?”
“I don’t know.”
Truth.
Then Richard learned names through daughter? He asked if he could know.
I said girls may tell if want.
They did.
He wrote:
Thank you.
No claim.
Then his sentence progression.
He served cleanly.
No disciplinary.
Completed intervention.
A therapist report did not call cured.
It said increased accountability, reduced minimization.
Good.
He became eligible for supervised release after serving around six years with lawful credits.
I was notified.
My body went cold.
He would be in forties.
Girls preteen.
May you like
He wanted contact.
I had to decide.
