Chapter 12 - The Questions I Had Avoided for Years
The prosecutor started with daughters.
Not violence.
“Tell jury about Lily.”
“She loves drawing horses badly.”
A few smiles.
“Sophie?”
“She thinks every dog is hers.”
Then Richard.
“How long married?”
Ten years.
“When first physical incident?”
Our second year.
He shoved me during argument.
I called it one time.
Then pregnancy with Lily.
He stopped for months.
After birth, disappointment over girl began.
He did not hit newborn.
He hit me.
Then Sophie.
Worse.
Then years.
No need describe every blow.
Representative.
January rib.
March wrist.
Thanksgiving pelvis.
Backyard.
Then why stay.
I answered:
“Because he apologized. Because I had girls. Because money. Because his mother told me family court would believe him. Because sometimes weeks were good. Because leaving felt dangerous. Because I was ashamed.”
Then:
“Did you believe sex of child your fault?”
“No.”
“Did defendant?”
“He said.”
Then pregnancy.
Why hide.
“Because I wanted time to think safely.”
Then loss.
I cried.
The prosecutor paused.
No theatrical.
Then defense.
“Mrs. Carter, you described husband beating you several times a week.”
“Yes.”
“Yet no police report for ten years.”
“Correct.”
“No photographs?”
“Some on old phone, not many.”
“No journal?”
“No.”
“Your six year old had more records than you.”
“Yes.”
That hurt.
Then:
“You continued sleeping with husband.”
“Yes.”
“Had consensual sex.”
“Yes.”
“Became pregnant.”
“Yes.”
“Went on vacation.”
“Yes.”
“Posted anniversary photos.”
“Yes.”
“So public picture loving.”
“Yes.”
“Were all those photos lies?”
“Some moments were real.”
That answer slowed.
Then:
“Richard could be loving.”
“Yes.”
“Good father?”
“Sometimes.”
“Provided.”
“Yes.”
“Never struck daughters.”
“Not that I know.”
“So not monster every moment.”
“No.”
No need monster.
Then my violence.
“Did you slap?”
“Yes.”
“Throw mug?”
“Yes.”
“Scratch neck?”
“Yes.”
“Tell him you wished he choked?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“I hated him.”
“Then toxic marriage.”
“Yes.”
The lawyer smiled.
Then I continued:
“Toxic marriage still does not make it okay to beat someone.”
He object? Not question. Judge may let maybe.
Then:
“Did you ever initiate physical?”
“One slap was not self defense.”
“Why?”
“He called Lily useless.”
“So you lost temper.”
“Yes.”
“Like Richard.”
“I slapped once. He assaulted me repeatedly.”
The judge reminded answer question.
Fine.
Then:
“You lied to doctors.”
“Yes.”
“CPS.”
“Yes.”
“School.”
“Yes.”
“Why jury believe now?”
Because evidence.
I said:
“They shouldn't believe me because I finally say truth. They should compare what I say to video, medical records, texts, and people who saw.”
That line.
Then pregnancy.
“You cannot prove Richard caused miscarriage.”
“No.”
“Yet you believe.”
“I believe violence may have contributed. Doctors cannot say exact.”
Good.
“Have you told daughters father killed babies?”
“No.”
“Have others?”
“Margaret did, falsely.”
Then:
“Did you secretly hope learning Y chromosome would hurt Richard?”
I froze.
“Yes.”
The courtroom quiet.
“Why?”
“Because he punished me for years over something I couldn't control.”
Honest.
Then:
“So revenge.”
“No. A feeling.”
Then lawyer:
“You want prison.”
“Yes.”
“You want sole custody.”
“Yes.”
“You want house.”
“I want fair divorce settlement and safe home.”
Financial interest.
Yes.
Then prosecutor redirect:
“Does wanting safety make video false?”
“No.”
“Does anger heal fractures?”
“No.”
“Does hatred produce neighbor recording?”
“No.”
Then:
“What do you want jury to understand?”
I looked.
“That I was not perfect. I was still not his property.”
I stepped down.
May you like
Richard decided to testify.
Of course.
