Chapter 17 - Penny’s Anger
Penny turned nine while Julian was incarcerated.
Her birthday theme:
Space.
No Blackwood estate.
No velvet cape.
No formal dinner.
Pizza.
Planet cupcakes.
Seven friends.
At one point a child knocked over purple soda.
Penny froze.
I saw it.
Then she handed paper towels.
“No big deal.”
I went into bathroom and cried.
Not because sad.
Because ordinary can be victory.
Therapy continued.
Penny asked hard questions.
“Did Daddy love Vanessa?”
“I think so.”
“More than you?”
“I don’t know.”
“More than me?”
“No evidence of that.”
She rolled eyes.
“You always talk like court.”
“I’m working on it.”
She smiled.
Then:
“Why did he hurt you if he loved us?”
I hated.
“Love does not stop people from making cruel choices.”
“Then love is useless.”
“No.”
“Why?”
“Because safe love includes choices that match the word.”
She thought.
“Uncle Damian loves us.”
“Yes.”
“He doesn’t lock us.”
“No.”
“He is annoying.”
“Extremely.”
Good.
Damian had become stable presence.
Not replacement father.
He never tried.
He helped with math homework and failed spectacularly because Penny’s school used methods he called “hostile to civilization.”
She loved that.
Noah, our younger brother, sober for years, also reentered life. I had mentioned him as addiction, should resolve. He lived in Colorado, worked as peer recovery counselor. He visited once, no drama. Good.
Family became larger than crisis.
Then Julian’s appeal.
One bank fraud conviction challenged because jury instruction.
Appellate court vacated one document-use count as duplicative but affirmed core convictions.
Sentence reduced by eight months.
No retrial.
Domestic violence convictions affirmed.
Good.
Legal realism.
Julian wrote Penny:
“My appeal doesn’t mean I’m saying Mom lied.”
Important.
Therapist approved.
He wrote:
“My lawyers argued legal rules. I still did what I apologized for.”
That showed accountability.
I showed Damian.
“He’s changing.”
“Maybe.”
“You hate that.”
“No.”
“You do.”
He looked at me.
“I hate that part of me wanted him to stay monster forever because monsters are easier to hate.”
I understood.
Me too.
Then Penny asked to video call.
We arranged.
Julian appeared older.
Hair gray at temples.
“Hi.”
“Hi, Dad.”
They talked about school.
No case.
No Vanessa.
At end:
“I love you.”
Penny paused.
“I love you too. I’m still mad.”
May you like
“I know.”
That sentence became their relationship for years.
