Chapter 20 - Vanessa Comes Home
Vanessa was released when Lily was fourteen.
Conditions.
Restitution ongoing.
No automatic family access.
She moved to Indiana.
Worked bookkeeping for a nonprofit after disclosure and supervision? Perhaps eventually allowed. Better not bookkeeping due financial conviction. She worked operations/admin at community center.
She asked to meet Daniel.
He did.
Public.
Then asked Claire.
I declined.
Then Lily.
We said Lily chooses with therapist.
She said no.
Vanessa accepted.
Two years.
No pressure.
Birthday cards through approved channel.
No expensive gifts.
Simple.
At sixteen, Lily said:
“I want one meeting.”
I panicked.
Did not say no.
Safe location.
Therapist nearby.
I sat outside.
Daniel too.
Lily entered alone.
Vanessa stood but did not approach.
“You got tall.”
“People do.”
Vanessa smiled nervously.
“I’m sorry.”
“I know.”
Lily sat.
“Why did you call me useless?”
Vanessa cried.
“Because I felt useless.”
“That doesn’t make sense.”
“No.”
“Did you think hurting me made you less useless?”
“No.”
“Then why?”
Vanessa answered:
“Because for one second I wanted somebody smaller than me to feel as bad as I did.”
Ugly truth.
Lily absorbed.
“That’s terrible.”
“Yes.”
“Do you still do that?”
“I work very hard not to.”
“What if you get mad at me now?”
“I leave before I touch you.”
Good.
Lily asked about money.
“Did you hate me because trust was mine?”
“No.”
“Then why use mine?”
“Because I told myself you were a child and wouldn’t need it for years.”
“Still mine.”
“Yes.”
“Did you think you’d repay?”
“Yes.”
“Would that make it okay?”
“No.”
Good.
Meeting ended after forty minutes.
Lily did not hug.
Vanessa didn’t ask.
In car, Lily said:
“I don’t know if I forgive her.”
May you like
“You don’t have to decide.”
“Good.”
