Chapter 21 - Amanda Meets Ava Again
Ava was seven when she asked:
“Can I meet Grandma Amanda?”
Not because Ethan pressured.
He had never mentioned her without permission.
Ava found letters in family history? We kept sealed. Actually she knew grandma exists.
“Why?”
“Daddy says she’s sorry.”
I called Ethan.
“Did you tell her?”
He said:
“She asked why I don’t see Mom. I said Mom did something unsafe when she was baby and we have boundaries. I did not ask her to meet.”
Good.
We spoke with therapist.
Plan:
One supervised meeting.
Neutral center.
I attended behind observation glass? Could be nearby.
Amanda arrived early.
Older.
No makeup.
Hands trembling.
Ava walked in holding my hand.
Amanda cried.
Ava looked annoyed.
“People cry a lot when they meet me.”
I almost laughed.
Amanda sat.
“Hi, Ava.”
“Hi.”
No hug.
Therapist asked Ava what she wanted to know.
“Did you put me in water?”
Amanda swallowed.
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“Because I was helping your dad make a fake video.”
Ava frowned.
“That’s weird.”
“Yes.”
“Could I die?”
Amanda started crying harder.
“It could have been dangerous.”
“Did you know?”
“I knew I should never have done it.”
“Why did you?”
“Because I cared more about controlling your mom than keeping you completely safe.”
No excuse.
Ava looked at me.
I nodded.
Her choice.
Then:
“Do you still do bad stuff?”
Amanda almost smiled.
“I try not to.”
“That’s not answer.”
Therapist hid smile.
Amanda said:
“No. I have not done anything like that again.”
“Okay.”
Thirty minutes.
No hug.
At end Ava said:
“Maybe next time.”
Amanda whispered:
“Only if you want.”
The phrase she once could not say.
We left.
Ava asked for ice cream.
No dramatic healing.
One meeting.
Later, occasional supervised lunches became possible.
Never caregiving.
Never alone.
May you like
I did not forget.
I adjusted boundary.
