Chapter 21 - Margaret’s Question
Mom changed mind at eighty one.
“I want to see Brandon.”
I nearly dropped coffee.
“Why?”
“One question.”
“You don’t owe.”
“I know.”
Then:
“I want answer while I can hear it.”
We arranged mediator.
I did not attend.
After, Mom told.
Her question:
“Why was I so easy to sacrifice?”
Brandon cried.
He answered:
“Because you were not mine.”
That honesty hurt.
He saw his mother/brothers as his family.
Elena as wife who should align.
Margaret as outsider consuming space and threatening.
Then:
“I thought if Elena chose me, she’d prove marriage.”
Ultimatum test.
Mom:
“So you hit me to test her?”
“No. I hit because you said Blue Harbor and I panicked. The ultimatum was test.”
Then:
“Did you ever care about me?”
“Yes, but not enough when it cost.”
Then Mom asked:
“If Elena had thrown me out, what then?”
Brandon:
“I would have moved more money before telling her anything.”
There.
He would have continued.
Then:
“Would you have stayed married?”
“Yes.”
Again.
Then Mom told:
“I forgive you.”
Brandon:
“You don’t have to.”
“I know.”
Then:
“You can’t come into my home.”
“Okay.”
Then:
“I don’t want cards.”
“Okay.”
She left.
That was all.
Mom said:
“He looked like little boy.”
“Do you pity?”
“Some.”
“Does that bother?”
“No.”
Compassion not access.
Then she slept better.
At 82, heart failure diagnosed.
Not immediate death.
She managed.
I became more involved.
No controlling.
Then one day she handed me her house key.
“Emergency.”
I smiled.
“I know.”
The key loop.
Then she asked:
“Did leaving your keys ever scare?”
“Yes.”
“You had no car?”
I had spare fob? Actually I left house keys not car. Fine.
Then:
“Would you do again?”
“Yes.”
Without hesitation.
Then Mom’s health worsened.
Diane visited.
Claire.
No Brandon.
Mom’s choice.
Then she asked:
“Promise no family secrets after I die.”
I laughed.
“Your estate is boring.”
“Good.”
Then one account statement.
All.
May you like
No hidden.
That was peace.
