Chapter 19 - Valerie Comes Alone
Two years after hospital, Valerie asked to meet.
I said no.
Three months later, she asked again.
No.
At year three, I agreed.
Why?
Not forgiveness.
Curiosity exhausted me more than meeting.
Lauren offered attendance.
I declined.
Public café.
Daytime.
Valerie arrived alone.
No Evan.
She looked older.
So did I.
“Hi.”
“Hi.”
We sat.
She ordered tea.
I ordered coffee.
Five minutes passed discussing nothing.
Then:
“I’m sorry.”
“I know.”
“I don’t think you do.”
“Then say what you’re sorry for.”
She swallowed.
“For Derek.”
“Too broad.”
“For sleeping with him.”
“Okay.”
“For letting him use your money.”
“Okay.”
“For pretending to be you.”
My chest tightened.
“For making fun of you because you couldn’t get pregnant.”
I looked away.
She continued:
“That one was mine. Derek didn’t make me say it. Mom didn’t.”
“Why?”
“Because you had one thing I could hurt.”
Silence.
At least honest.
“You knew how much treatment hurt me.”
“Yes.”
“And used it.”
“Yes.”
I stared.
“Why should I ever trust you?”
“You shouldn’t.”
That surprised me.
“I’m not asking.”
“Then why meet?”
“Because I didn’t want the last thing I ever said to you to be that.”
The hospital sentence.
Her body can’t give anyone children anyway.
I understood.
“Is Evan okay?”
Her eyes filled.
“Yes.”
“Good.”
“Do you want to see a picture?”
“No.”
She nodded.
No offense.
We talked forty minutes.
She told me Derek and she were no longer together.
No dramatic betrayal.
Relationship could not survive criminal charges, money, parenting conflict, blame.
They co-parented through court order.
Derek had completed custody and supervision? By year 3 yes likely. He saw Evan regularly.
Valerie worked as office manager at dental practice.
Small apartment.
Mom helped with childcare but not money beyond occasional gifts.
“Are you happy?”
I asked.
She thought.
“Sometimes.”
Good answer.
At end she asked:
“Can I contact you again?”
“No.”
Her face fell slightly.
Then:
“Okay.”
I walked away.
No hug.
No reconciliation.
But the hospital room stopped being the final scene in my mind.
May you like
Now the last image was Valerie accepting no.
That was enough.
