Chapter 22 - Emily’s Question About Her Mother
At thirty one, after birth of her son Ben, Emily asked Sarah:
“Would you do it differently?”
Sarah answered:
“Everything.”
Emily frowned.
“Too easy.”
Sarah thought.
“I would tell your dad when you first asked extra night.”
“Even knowing he might storm over?”
“I would tell him and tell police if needed.”
Then:
“I would not give you key.”
Emily:
“That key mattered.”
“I would give Mrs Harris.”
“Okay.”
“I would leave house before collecting enough.”
“Would Jason still get caught?”
“Maybe later.”
There.
Justice uncertainty.
Sarah:
“I thought I needed proof before safety.”
Emily:
“Do you forgive yourself?”
Sarah cried.
“Some days.”
Then Emily:
“I do.”
Sarah looked stunned.
“For what?”
“For not knowing what to do fast enough.”
Not all.
Then:
“I don’t forgive you for making me feel like asking Dad was betrayal.”
Specific.
Sarah nodded.
“Fair.”
Then:
“But I don't carry.”
That was mature.
Then Emily asked me separately:
“Do you forgive Mom?”
“Yes.”
“For hiding evidence?”
“Mostly.”
“For not telling about Jason?”
“More complicated.”
“Are you mad?”
“Sometimes when remember.”
Then:
“You still friends.”
“Yes.”
People can forgive without pretending.
Then Emily:
“Do you forgive Jason?”
“No.”
“Do you hate?”
“Less.”
“Why?”
May you like
“He’s not in my day.”
That was enough.
