Chapter 17 - Grace Meets Margaret
Grace was seven when she asked to meet Margaret.
I said no initially.
Then hated myself for automatic answer.
We discussed with therapist.
Grace knew:
Margaret pushed me while pregnant.
Ethan knew and did not stop.
Margaret went to prison.
She apologized.
They had not met since.
Grace asked:
“Will Grandma hurt me?”
“I don’t believe she will in a supervised meeting.”
“Then why no?”
I had to answer honestly.
“Because I’m afraid.”
She looked surprised.
“You?”
“Yes.”
“Adults get afraid?”
“All the time.”
She thought.
“Can therapist be there?”
“Yes.”
“Then I want one time.”
One time.
We arranged.
Neutral family therapy office.
Margaret entered with cane after hip surgery.
Older.
Gray hair.
No makeup.
Grace stared.
“You look like Daddy.”
Margaret cried.
“I guess I do.”
Grace sat beside me.
No hug.
“Did you push Mom?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
Margaret swallowed.
“Because I was angry and wanted to frighten her into doing what Ethan and I wanted.”
“Did you want me to die?”
“No.”
“Could I have?”
Margaret’s face broke.
“Yes.”
Grace looked at me.
I had prepared.
Truth.
Then:
“Why didn’t you think?”
“I thought about what I wanted more than what could happen to you.”
Grace nodded slowly.
“That’s selfish.”
“Yes.”
“Did Daddy tell you?”
“No. He did not say ‘push Claire.’ He knew I was going to do something and chose not to stop me.”
Accurate.
“Do you love Daddy?”
“Yes.”
“Do you love Mom?”
Margaret looked at me.
“I don’t know if love is right word anymore.”
Good.
No fake.
Grace asked:
“Do you love me?”
“I care about you. I don’t know you well enough to pretend.”
That answer surprised me most.
No grandparent entitlement.
At end, Grace said:
“Maybe again.”
Margaret nodded.
“Only if you ask.”
She did not touch her.
Afterward, I cried in car.
Grace asked:
“Why?”
“Because I was scared.”
“Was it bad?”
“No.”
“Then why cry?”
“Bodies are weird.”
She accepted.
We met again six months later.
Public park.
Therapist nearby but not at table.
Then lunch.
Slow.
Margaret never became Grandma of weekends.
Maybe five visits a year.
Enough.
No court involvement.
Her petition remained closed.
Ethan watched this development from prison.
He was hurt Margaret saw Grace in person before he did.
Understandable.
But consequences differ.
He could not leave.
Grace said:
“That’s because Daddy’s still in prison.”
“Yes.”
“Will he come out?”
“Yes.”
“When?”
Several years.
May you like
She counted on fingers.
Children turn sentences into math.
