Chapter 13 - Brian And Scott Write To Jake
Brian wrote first from prison.
His letter went through attorney because no direct contact order.
Jake was twelve.
He asked to read.
Brian wrote:
I held your arms when I should have stopped Dad.
No excuse.
Then:
I told myself I was preventing you from kicking Grandpa. The truth is I helped Grandpa keep control.
Then:
I am sorry.
Scott’s letter:
I held your legs.
I knew it was wrong almost immediately.
I said you were a kid but I did not let go soon enough.
I am sorry.
Jake read both.
Then:
“Which worse?”
“What?”
“Brian or Scott.”
“I’m not ranking.”
“Court did.”
“Court sentenced based on different conduct.”
He thought.
“Do I forgive?”
“Your choice.”
“Do you?”
“No.”
He laughed.
“Easy.”
Then:
“I think Scott more.”
“Why?”
“He said let go in video.”
“Okay.”
“Brian too but later.”
“Okay.”
Forgiveness became granular.
Scott served about three and a half years after credits.
Brian about five and a half.
Both were prohibited from contacting Jake directly without consent during supervision.
Scott moved out of state.
Worked construction.
No new charges.
Brian entered addiction counseling? We never established substance. Avoid.
He worked warehouse.
No new crimes known.
They remained Christine’s brothers.
She maintained limited relationship after probation.
Jake wanted none until adulthood.
At twenty two, he met Scott once at family funeral.
Scott approached cautiously.
“Can I say hello?”
Jake said yes.
Scott looked older.
“I’m sorry.”
Jake:
“I know.”
No hug.
Then Brian at twenty five.
Longer conversation.
Brian admitted:
“Dad had all of us trained to think disobedience was betrayal.”
Jake answered:
“You were adult.”
“Yes.”
No excuse.
That was closure.
Then Harold.
He wrote no apology for years.
His first letter to Jake at fourteen said:
Family mistakes should remain family matters.
I did not show immediately.
Therapist reviewed.
Jake wanted.
He read.
Then laughed bitterly.
“He still thinks room.”
Yes.
Harold wrote:
Your father turned you against your blood.
Jake tore.
No guilt.
At sixteen, another letter was blocked at his request.
No more.
Harold never accepted.
Not every antagonist reforms.
Then Gray.
No family contact.
He died in federal custody twelve years into sentence after illness.
No hidden confession.
His plea record already told.
Harold outlived him.
Mason called me when Gray died.
“Feel?”
“Nothing.”
“Same.”
Then Mason retired three years later.
He sent Jake a birthday card:
To the kid who found what grown men missed.
I told him that was too heroic.
Jake agreed.
He wrote back:
May you like
I found a soccer ball.
Mason framed that.
