Chapter 20 - My Son Came to My Door
Three years after hose, Brian came to my house.
No warning.
I opened door but kept storm door closed.
He looked thinner.
Forty-one.
Gray at temples.
“Dad.”
“No-contact order is expired.”
“I know.”
“That doesn’t mean show up.”
“I know.”
“What do you want?”
“Five minutes.”
I hesitated.
Then opened storm door.
Not because forgiven.
Because I was curious.
He sat at kitchen table.
Looked around.
“Nice place.”
“Thanks.”
“No mortgage?”
“None.”
He smiled sadly.
“You always were better with money.”
“That’s not why you came.”
“No.”
He looked at hands.
“I’m sorry.”
“Specific.”
He glanced up.
“You always do that now?”
“Yes.”
“For hose.”
“Yes.”
“For shed.”
“Yes.”
“For letting Brenda talk about you like…”
He stopped.
“Like what?”
“Like you were dirty.”
I waited.
“For telling you to shower when I didn’t smell anything.”
There.
That mattered.
“For letting you put money into a house I treated like mine.”
“You asked me.”
“I know.”
“For POA.”
I went still.
“Explain.”
“I wanted access if something happened.”
“That is what you told yourself.”
He nodded.
“I also wanted option to use equity.”
“Yes.”
“I thought I’d repay.”
“You did not have permission.”
“I know.”
“Did you intend to put me in assisted living?”
His eyes filled.
“No.”
“Texts.”
“I talked about it.”
“Why?”
“Because Brenda kept saying house could never feel ours while you were there.”
“And what did you say?”
“That maybe if your health got worse…”
“My health was fine.”
“I know.”
“Then say it.”
He swallowed.
“I was waiting for you to become inconvenient enough that I could justify removing you.”
The sentence sat between us.
It was ugly.
It was honest.
I leaned back.
“Why?”
He cried quietly.
Not dramatic.
“I was ashamed.”
“Of me?”
“Of where I came from.”
I did not rescue him.
He continued.
“I hated when clients asked what Dad did.”
“Why?”
“Because they had fathers who owned companies.”
“So?”
“I don’t know.”
“You do.”
“I wanted them to think I came from money.”
I laughed once.
“You did.”
“What?”
“Three hundred eighty thousand seemed like money when you needed it.”
May you like
He covered his face.
That was first time I saw him understand irony.
