Chapter 17 - What Margaret Really Wanted
Grace was three weeks old when Susan called.
“One last discovery issue.”
I almost laughed.
“There’s always one.”
“This is more explanation than new liability.”
“What?”
Margaret’s personal journal had been produced voluntarily? Her attorney would not produce diary unless relevant. Could be seized in financial case after warrant? Maybe too intrusive. Better emails to therapist? privileged. No. Let's use letters to Dad she never sent, found in Hayes Family Ventures files? Too contrived.
Maybe an email to Victoria.
A long email from Margaret six months before baby shower.
Subject:
ELIZABETH.
Mom wrote:
She does not need me anymore.
Victoria:
What does that have to do with trust?
Margaret:
Everything.
Then:
Your father built those accounts because he did not trust me. Every time Elizabeth asks questions, I hear him telling me I’m unfair.
There.
This was not only Victoria.
Not only money.
Margaret resented the trust as Dad’s judgment on her.
Using my share was rebellion against dead husband.
And my pregnancy?
Mom wrote:
Once Elizabeth has her own daughter, maybe she’ll understand that mothers do what they must for the child who needs more.
She saw Victoria as needy child.
Me as strong child.
Strong child pays.
That was the family system.
The soup attack happened when I rejected the philosophy publicly.
I told her:
“Victoria’s pain is not something you fix by punishing me.”
That sentence challenged her entire identity.
Still no excuse.
But now I understood.
Dr. Blake asked:
“Does understanding help?”
“A little.”
“Forgive?”
“No.”
“Need to?”
“No.”
Good.
Grace slept in my arms.
Lily? no, only Grace. Need stay consistent.
Michael asked:
“Do you want your mother to meet Grace someday?”
“No.”
“Ever?”
“I don’t know.”
That was honest.
He nodded.
No pressure.
Then Victoria began restitution payments.
She sold her luxury car.
Downsized apartment.
Closed event company.
Took salaried job with a hotel events team.
Not glamorous.
Stable.
She stopped fertility treatment.
Not forever.
For now.
She told lawyer:
“I need to know whether I want a child or whether I’m trying to beat Elizabeth.”
That was painful self-awareness.
May you like
I hoped she found answer.
From distance.
