Chapter 14 - Margaret in Prison
Margaret served eighteen months before transition to community correction? Wait sentence effective 30 months. Could serve 25 months with credits. Let's say after twenty-four months she transferred to supervised reentry center, then completed custody.
During first year, she wrote monthly.
I read none.
Elena did not want.
Attorney stored.
At second year, Elena said:
“You can read if you want.”
I did.
Letter one:
Miles manipulated me.
I stopped.
Not ready.
Letter four:
I was wrong.
Better.
Letter seven:
I keep thinking if Miles had never met me, none of this would happen. That is another way I avoid myself.
There.
Letter nine:
I wanted you to need me more than you needed Elena.
Then:
When she became pregnant, I saw the baby as proof your family could exist without me.
I cried.
Then:
Miles gave me a way to call jealousy concern.
Accurate.
Then:
I signed lies because I wanted them true.
Then:
I grabbed Elena because she was about to make you see me clearly.
No excuse.
Letter twelve:
I am sorry to Elena. I am sorry to Lily, though she owes me nothing. I am sorry to you.
No request.
Then I wrote first response.
I received your letters. I am not ready for contact.
She replied:
Understood.
No pressure.
That was change.
Then community reentry.
No contact order remained during probation.
She lived in small rental.
House? She did not own ours. Her own condo remained. We had never established. Let's say she owned a townhouse, returned there after probation? Maybe.
She sold her larger home because legal fees and preference.
Not impoverished.
She had retirement income.
No financial dependency.
Then probation ended.
She asked through attorney for supervised meeting with me, not Elena/Lily.
Elena said:
“Go if you want.”
I did.
Neutral office.
Margaret looked older.
I sat.
“Mom.”
“Adrian.”
First question:
“Did you ever believe Elena was mentally ill?”
She thought.
“I believed she was emotional.”
“That isn't question.”
“No.”
“So you knew.”
“Yes.”
“Did you believe I wanted divorce?”
“At first because messages.”
“After you knew forged?”
“No.”
“Then why continue?”
“Because if I stopped, I had to admit I had become person hurting you.”
There.
Then:
“Did you ever plan to take Lily?”
“I planned to ask court for temporary guardianship if Elena left or was hospitalized.”
“Using false documents.”
“Yes.”
“Did you think court would give?”
“I don't know.”
“You wanted chaos.”
“I wanted a chance.”
To become necessary.
Then:
“Do you understand why you may never meet her?”
“Yes.”
She cried.
Then:
“Do you forgive Miles?”
“No.”
“Will you?”
“I don't know.”
Her timeline.
Then she asked:
“Do you forgive me?”
I answered:
“Yes.”
She looked shocked.
“But we are not restored.”
“I know.”
“I love you.”
She cried harder.
“I love you too.”
No hug yet.
At end she asked.
“Can I hug you?”
I thought.
“Yes.”
Short.
My body shook.
Then left.
I told Elena everything.
She listened.
Then:
“Do you want her in life?”
“Maybe slowly.”
“With me?”
“No unless you choose.”
“With Lily?”
“Not now.”
Elena nodded.
May you like
No fight.
Boundaries were not family vote.
