Chapter 18 - Derek’s Letter
Derek wrote from prison three years after sentencing.
I almost threw it away.
Nora said:
“You can.”
I did not.
Alex,
I used to tell myself Vance controlled me because he paid my debt. That is not true enough. He gave me an excuse to do things I already knew were wrong.
Good start.
I kept reading.
I resented you. You were Dad’s successful son. Vance trusted you publicly. Clara liked Dad more than Mom did after the stroke because she actually listened to him. I felt like everyone had roles and mine was failure.
Then:
When Vance offered to clear debt if I helped find Arthur’s files, I wanted to be useful.
Pathetic.
Human.
Dangerous.
He described Clara’s final run.
“She hit me because I deserved it.”
No glorification.
“I grabbed her sweater. I was trying to stop her reaching stairs. I felt fabric pull, then it was out of my hand. She fell.”
Then:
“I heard her breathing and still waited because Vance said he could fix everything if we found the drive. There is no sentence I can write that makes that less disgusting.”
I stopped.
That was the worst truth.
Not the fall.
The waiting.
He ended:
Do not give this to Lily unless a therapist says it helps. I don’t expect forgiveness.
I stored the letter with legal archive.
Lily did not read.
Maybe never.
Derek would be eligible for release after serving most of sentence with credits.
That future used to terrify me.
Now legal no contact orders, parole conditions, and geographic restrictions existed.
More importantly, I had built a life not dependent on his goodwill.
I asked Collins, now lieutenant:
“Do people change?”
She smiled.
“That’s above my pay grade.”
“You’ve seen enough.”
“I’ve seen people behave differently when consequences are real.”
“Same thing?”
“No.”
May you like
Accurate.
Again.
