Chapter 18 - Savannah’s Choice
Four years after the assault, Savannah asked if she could meet Bernice.
I thought I misheard.
“Why?”
“I don’t know.”
“That is not a great reason.”
She laughed.
“I want to see if she can look at me without making me responsible for her feelings.”
“Do you want Grace there?”
“No.”
“Me?”
“No.”
That hurt slightly.
Good.
Her meeting.
Not mine.
Elena arranged a therapist’s office.
Forty five minutes.
Savannah told me afterward only what she wanted.
Bernice stood when Savannah entered.
Then asked:
“May I hug you?”
Savannah said no.
Bernice sat.
No offense.
They talked.
Savannah asked:
“Why did you hate me?”
Bernice said:
“I didn’t.”
Savannah almost left.
Then Bernice corrected:
“I resented what you represented.”
“What?”
“Christopher choosing someone else.”
“Children grow up.”
“I know now.”
“Why the money?”
“I was afraid.”
“You had millions.”
“I was afraid of losing the life I was used to.”
“So you wanted mine.”
“Yes.”
That honesty mattered.
Savannah asked:
“Did you think Christopher would hurt me?”
Bernice cried.
“I wanted you to think he might.”
“Why?”
“Because then you would stop challenging me.”
Savannah:
“You used what Leonard did.”
“Yes.”
“Did Christopher scare you?”
“Sometimes, when he was angry.”
“Did you think he would hit me?”
Bernice said:
“No.”
That was perhaps most cruel.
She did not even believe the warning.
She used it.
Savannah asked:
“Do you understand why I can’t trust you around Grace?”
“Yes.”
No protest.
At end, Bernice asked:
“Can I write her letters for when she’s older?”
Savannah said:
“You can write them. Whether she gets them is our decision.”
Bernice nodded.
Meeting ended.
Savannah came home exhausted.
“Do you regret?”
“No.”
“Do you forgive her?”
“Some things.”
“That vague.”
“Good.”
She smiled.
Then:
“I don’t want regular contact.”
“Okay.”
“Maybe once a year.”
“Okay.”
“And not Grace.”
“Okay.”
She stared.
“You don’t want to argue?”
“No.”
“That’s annoying.”
I laughed.
Her decision.
Not mine.
We informed Bernice through Elena.
One supervised adult meeting annually if Savannah initiated.
No child contact.
Bernice accepted.
This was not family reunion.
May you like
It was controlled contact.
Boundaries with air around them.
