Chapter 19 - Patricia’s Letter
Patricia wrote a letter when Lily was nine.
Not directly.
Through her attorney.
Maya forwarded to me and Claire.
It began badly.
I was raised in a different era.
I almost stopped.
Then:
That sentence is not an excuse.
I kept reading.
I struck you because I believed embarrassment justified punishment. It did not.
I told myself your father was weak because he protected you. I was wrong.
I blamed Daniel for consequences that came from my own decisions.
I used money intended for you as if it belonged to the Whitmore family generally. The court was right to remove me.
I stared.
Claire cried.
Patricia continued:
I do not ask to see you. I do not ask you to forgive me. Your parents may decide this letter is not appropriate for you now. If you read it someday, I want you to know the sentence I should have said at the table was: “It was an accident. Are you okay?”
That line got me.
Not enough to erase.
Enough to show change.
We gave letter to Dr. Moreno.
She recommended waiting.
Lily was nine.
We told her Grandma had written an apology and she could read now, later, or never.
“Does it say I was bad?”
“No.”
“Does it blame you?”
“No.”
“Can I read?”
We sat together.
Lily read slowly.
When she reached the sentence about the table, she cried.
Then folded letter.
“Can I keep it?”
“Yes.”
“Do I have to write back?”
“No.”
“Good.”
She put it in desk.
Months later, she wrote one sentence.
I remember what you did. I’m not ready to see you.
We sent through counsel.
Patricia responded:
I understand.
Nothing else.
That was perhaps first time she accepted no.
May you like
Years too late.
Still.
