Chapter 20 - Clare’s Door
Clare opened Emma’s storage boxes when Elise was eight.
Not because anniversary.
Because she was ready.
Thomas sat on floor.
Elise sat beside them.
“Do I have to?”
“No.”
“Can I leave if sad?”
“Yes.”
They sorted.
Emma’s yellow raincoat.
Tiny shoes.
Drawings.
A broken music box.
Elise picked a purple crayon.
“Can I have this?”
Clare froze.
Then smiled.
“Yes.”
Emma had used it.
Now Elise did.
Not replacement.
Continuation.
Clare had spent years afraid loving Elise betrayed Emma.
Then therapist asked:
“Would Emma have wanted Clare to remain permanently incapable of loving a child?”
Impossible question.
Still useful.
Clare stopped measuring grief by suffering.
She began volunteering once monthly at St. Michael’s.
Not as savior.
Reading group.
Mrs. Dupont made her complete volunteer training like everyone else.
Thomas loved that.
Nurse Ada eventually retired.
Elise attended party.
She gave Ada a stitched blue square.
Ugly.
Perfect.
Ada cried.
Elise:
“Adults.”
The old courtyard had new drainage now.
Lawson Atlantic had paid years earlier.
Thomas visited occasionally but never donated with Elise’s name.
St. Michael’s capital grants were audited after Voss case.
The $450,000 was allowed to remain because the orphanage received it in good faith and used it for children’s therapy, despite Voss’s improper source management.
The court held Voss personally liable for restoration rather than harming St. Michael’s.
Good.
Mrs. Dupont asked Thomas:
“Do you ever think about what would have happened if you’d left that first day?”
“Yes.”
“Do you regret stopping the wheelchair?”
“No.”
She smiled.
“Neither do I.”
Then:
“Mara would have liked you.”
Thomas looked away.
“Maybe.”
“She would have argued with you constantly.”
“Definitely.”
At home, Elise asked:
“Can we make Bear new eye?”
Clare stared.
For years Bear had one eye.
Mara had fixed ear but never replaced eye.
“What kind?”
“Blue button.”
They sewed.
Elise held mirror.
Bear looked different.
“You sure?”
“Yes.”
“Why now?”
“He doesn’t need to look hurt forever.”
Clare stopped sewing.
May you like
Thomas had to leave room.
Too much.
