Chapter 15 - My Turn to Speak
"State your name."
"Emma Carter."
I heard Derek shift.
It was the first time he heard my restored name spoken in court.
"Were you previously Emma Lane?"
"Yes."
"Who is Derek Lane?"
"My former husband."
Then the prosecutor walked me through the night.
No performance.
No speech.
"Why was the SUV running?"
"I was leaving."
"Why?"
"Because I was afraid of Derek and because I discovered debt opened in my name."
"Did he know?"
"He saw my apartment search. In garage he said I'd been digging through accounts."
"What happened?"
"He accused me of cheating."
"Were you?"
"No."
"Then?"
"He took my phone."
"Did you try to leave?"
"Yes."
"He grabbed the back of my hair."
I felt my scalp remember.
"Then he hit my face against the steering wheel."
"Once?"
"No."
"How many times?"
"I remember three clearly. There may have been another after my vision blurred."
"Did you fight him?"
"Yes."
"How?"
"I scratched. Grabbed his hands. Tried to cover my face."
"Could you have scratched his cheek?"
"Yes."
Then the lie.
"What did Derek say after?"
"That I crashed."
"What exactly?"
"I lost control. I hit something. Nobody else was in the car."
"Why repeat?"
"Because I was scared."
Then hospital.
Carla.
No.
Then prior incidents.
Sarah did not make me describe every one.
"Have you previously lied to doctors about injuries caused by Derek?"
"Yes."
"Why?"
"Because I was afraid of what would happen if I told truth."
Then cross.
Rebecca Sloan stood.
"Ms. Carter, you were furious with Derek."
"Yes."
"You had discovered he stole money."
"Yes."
"You secretly packed."
"Yes."
"You planned divorce."
"Yes."
"You did not warn him."
"No."
"You scratched his face."
"Probably."
"You once slapped him."
"Yes."
"You once shoved him."
"Yes."
"So you are capable of physical aggression during arguments."
"Yes."
She paused.
That answer did not hurt as much as I expected.
Then:
"You told doctors false stories multiple times."
"Yes."
"You can lie convincingly."
"I can lie."
"Then why should these jurors believe this version?"
Sarah objected.
"Sustained."
But everyone heard.
Rebecca continued.
"You were trying to open the driver's door?"
"Yes."
"Derek grabbed you?"
"Yes."
"Could your own forward movement have caused your face to strike the wheel?"
"No."
"How can you be certain if your eyes were closed?"
"Because he was holding my hair and moving my head."
"You remember exactly?"
"I remember that."
"But not exact number impacts."
"Correct."
"So your memory is incomplete."
"Yes."
Then:
"You suffered head injury."
"Yes."
"Head injury can affect memory."
"Yes."
Then:
"Derek drove you to hospital."
"Yes."
"He could have left you without medical care."
"Yes."
"He didn't."
"No."
"He sought treatment."
"After he hurt me."
Rebecca paused.
Then:
"Did Derek say, 'If you tell the hospital, I will hurt you'?"
"No."
"What did he say?"
"If I embarrassed him, I'd regret it."
"Could that refer to divorce, money, reputation?"
"I believed it referred to danger."
"Believed."
"Yes."
Then she showed old text with Michael.
You still coming Wednesday? We can talk after.
"Derek believed you were involved with him."
"No idea what Derek believed."
"Did he accuse?"
"Yes."
"Could jealousy explain emotional argument?"
"It explains what he yelled. It doesn't explain what he did."
Rebecca changed direction.
The prior slap.
My mother's insult.
"Was Derek injured?"
"No."
"But you struck."
"Yes."
Then:
"Do you consider yourself violent?"
"No."
"Despite striking spouse?"
"I did something violent once. That doesn't mean every part of me is violent."
I surprised myself.
Sarah looked down to hide expression.
Then the lie at hospital.
"You agreed to it."
"Yes."
"Because you and Derek wanted to hide domestic fight?"
"No."
"Because you feared arrest for scratching him?"
"No."
"Because he told you to."
"Yes."
Then:
"You want him convicted."
I paused.
"Yes."
The jury looked at me.
Rebecca:
"You want punishment."
"I want the court to hold him responsible for what he did."
"That wasn't my question."
"Yes. I want him convicted."
No shame.
Then redirect.
Sarah asked one question.
"Does wanting Derek convicted change what happened in the garage?"
"No."
That was all.
I stepped down.
My legs nearly gave out in the hallway.
Jenna found me near bathroom.
I started crying.
"I admitted everything."
"Good."
"I said I scratched him."
"Yes."
"I said I slapped him."
"Yes."
"I said I lied."
"Yes."
"And I didn't disappear."
Jenna smiled.
"No."
That was the revelation.
For years, Derek had taught me truth had to be managed because one ugly fact could destroy credibility.
But I had put every ugly fact on the stand.
May you like
I was still there.
The truth had survived me being human.
